Repetitive Motions

I wonder why she even bother to come back in to my life again. i was not her ideal guy, i was never. but then again somehow she’s trying to get back to me. i’m not that special. only specialty i ever had was being an ultimate saboteur of relationships. i was a genius at it. and beause of that sole purpose i gave up relationships. not because i suffer or they suffer, because eventually it got boring. people became predictable and life was too clichéd. Somehow i began to see things repeating itself. it’s like my life ran out of things to do. so now it’s trying to bring back blasts from past. so i am reliving things i have experienced before and it’s so boring. Just like how that girl who went away with another guy. And she asked me why did i never asked her out. I was at loss of words. What should I say? I have nothing to say at all. I screwed it up, i screwed it up big time. And i have no excuses.