Writing on teddywrites

Revisiting Burnout

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 00:00:00 +0000

I Hate Thinking

I always have. It drags me down a strange, twisting rollercoaster of emotions. No safety bar, no map, just a plunge into the unknown. I always end up in the same dark corner of my mind. A place crowded with what ifs, should haves, and why nots.

And I hate it there.

It’s noisy, uncertain, and heavy.

Still, no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I always find my way back. Sometimes, I go there without even realizing it. Just a quiet moment, a breath too long, a silence too wide. And suddenly, I’m spiraling again.

I Feel Nothing

Sat, 29 Aug 2020 23:10:34 +0000

I can write thousands of stories filled with cheap romance and yet feel nothing of it. The words i write seems fake to me but i find people making sense of it. In reality it’s just a desperate attempt to create a feeling that I have lost throughout the time. It used to be so genuine and calming but now it feels forced. Sometimes i just want to believe that it is possible to lose feelings and be apathetic, i really do. But why does it feel like my heart breaks every time when something goes bad.

Writing, Depression and Curses

Sat, 15 Aug 2020 07:02:33 +0000

It’s hard to describe a feeling when you’re not feeling it yourself. You can try, but it won’t work. It’ll end up being a version of your most common feeling. You can convince yourself that it is the real feeling but you know that it isn’t. Be it anything good or bad if you can’t feel it for yourself, you can’t.

I write depressing stuff. Mostly because when i got into writing, I was depressed most of the time. So every word I wrote was embedded with it, molded by it and came out as it is. I couldn’t write something Happy even if you held me at a gunpoint. Even now I’m less depressed or used to it now, i still can’t find my way around words. I guess I’m cursed for life and won’t be able to write something Happy after all. But if i write that’s all that matters to me. Writing ease the emotional distress I’m in. It saved me from lots of things and i owe my life to my hobby.

Me, but Not Me

Fri, 29 Nov 2019 18:28:51 +0000

I would often wonder how i wrote whatever i wrote back then. Whenever i look at them or read them i don’t see myself writing them at all. It’s like i was possessed by some entity before I wrote what i wrote. Every word and sentence is pure act of someone else but me. It gets a little weird when those writings begin to relate to what i am in today. It’s like i knew where i would be and wanted to take a shot at me when time is ripe. Everytime i read my words, i see someone else other than me.

Writer’s Block

Mon, 06 Aug 2018 15:43:30 +0000

Writers block is the worst thing that can happen to a writer. It keeps happening to me. No matter how much I try to keep up with it all fails. I suddenly lose motivation, my writings get deleted because i forgot to save it or many others reasons that are completely out of ordinary. Still i try because once in a blue moon i write something mind blowing that makes me flip out and ask myself did i do that? So here I am for the nth time and hoping this would stick and hoping I can pull out some rabbits out of hat or at least a carrot. Before I go,

Note to Myself

Sun, 05 Aug 2018 20:25:50 +0000

I used to be a good writer. But something stopped me from writing. I never wanted to take a pen or open up a blog draft again. I was consumed to a point where i despised reading. I despised every aspect of it. It’s like breaking up with your long-term partner and keep saying you’d do fine without her. Eventually you’ll learn how to do it but you won’t ever be the same again. I wrote this little note as a reminder to myself. So if you’re reading this teddy, don’t give up on writing. That’s where your heart lies.

Returning to Blogging

Wed, 14 Mar 2018 06:24:00 +0000

Okay, This Sucks. I’m known to rant about everything but in reality I’m doing it all in my head. No real words, No Audience. I rant to make myself comfortable or to escape from Life itself. I used to be this bright kid who spew sunshine out of my ass or i think i was. I can’t exactly remember as depression sweep me of my feet and made me its bitch. So I decided to rant on a blog which i created 4 years ago, and have 2 posts. that’s how lazy i was. Very.